Watching your child enjoy his first experiences being part of a team can be stressful as well as exciting. My child played baseball from the time he was four years old. I realized back then that it all starts with the parents. As parents we want to be involved in every aspect of our children’s life and take great pride in making sure that they are primed and ready for everything that they do. BUT….there is such a thing as being TOO involved when it comes to sports.
Parents – be involved, but not TOO involved.
I have watched players get undermined by their ‘helicopter’ mom or dad. Trust me, word of mouth travels fast. Coaches talk about their players. Most coaches know other coaches. I have overheard coaches talking to one another – “that player has a lot of potential, but his father is a pain in the butt.”
Statements like that just cause me to shake my head.
I have seen overzealous parents cause such a commotion that it almost resulted in their child losing the remaining spot on a tournament team. I have heard parents making negative comparisons between their child and other players. “Why isn’t my son playing? My son is better than that kid.” Dealing with parents like that cause negative vibes for not only the coach but for the rest of the team as well.
Coaches give their time and expertise to help your child learn the game. Having parents tell them that they are doing something wrong is just wrong. Parents – instead of criticizing your child’s coaches, appreciate them. Most of them work long hours at a full-time job, and are still able to make it to the park (on their own time) to work out with your child to make them better in the sport.
Best ways to be helpful without overstepping:
- When it comes time to clean up, be sure that your child is there to help. Picking up equipment, making sure things are ready for the next game are all a part of the sport. Being a team player is what makes teams great. Whisking your child away as soon as the game is over makes it seem like you and your child are just interested in playing the game and are not willing to do the work that comes along with it.
- Fundraising is a big part of any team sport. These fundraisers pay for equipment, park time, uniforms, etc.. Parents who are not interested in doing any fundraising not only puts a heavier burden on those children/parents who need the extra help in paying for certain sporting items but they also miss out on team bonding with the other teammates. Many of these fundraisers teach the team to work together towards a unified goal.
- Offer your help. Period. Don’t push. Don’t expect any special treatment from helping. If you are helping just to try to get your child more playing time, then you are helping for the wrong reasons.
Enjoy this time watching your child play a sport that they love. Don’t yell at them if they aren’t the best. That will just make them not want to play.
Disclaimer: I want to note that I am just a parent who raised a son that has gone through many years of team sports and have witnessed all types of parents throughout the years. My husband also coached several teams so I also heard the coaches point of view as well.
