I want to start this post off with a sincere – I love my husband. I really do. BUT – there are things that he does or says that just drive me crazy.
Is it just me? Am I the only one with a husband that does these things? I work. I come home and clean. Make dinner. Tend to my children and my husband. There is a lot to do in the world of parents. There are things that moms need help on and don’t want any feedback.
Yesterday, my husband and I got into it over what I like to call the “tone of voice” issue. This prompted me to start jotting down a few things that drive me insane…that my husband does.
Its All In the Tone
All right folks. You all met someone who talks with that “tone”. Its the moment in a conversation when a person feels that you’re not getting it. They start talking slower than usual, and use a slightly louder voice when saying a word or a phrase. Like you wouldn’t understand what they are talking about. My husband used to do that when scolding our kids (when they were a lot younger) and has recently started talking to me like that. Okay, to be fair. I will give a little preface to this. He has coached kids for years, so maybe this type of tone helps the kids understand certain things. But – I’m not a 10 year old kid! Its like nails on a chalkboard to me…I get what he is trying to say. I just don’t agree with him. Maybe the blank look I usually give him is causing him to talk that way. Hmmm.
We’re Even
This phrase can ruin an apology lightning quick. Unfortunately, my husband loves this phrase. Especially when he has said something that was in retaliation. He will apologize with, “I’m sorry for saying this and that, so now we’re even.” I feel like you can see my blood boiling. He got to see the light of day with the “I’m sorry” and then went right back into the darkness of the doghouse with “we’re even”.
Sighing or Whew
Oh – don’t even get me started with the sighing. Leave a couple of dishes in the sink. Big *Sigh*. Rubbish needs to be taken out. Big *Sigh*. Put away a few folded towels. Big “Whew!” I get it – the one or two cups in the sink are such a gigantic chore to put into the dishwasher and requires a *sigh*. Carrying that small stack of 4 towels to be put away upstairs – so difficult that it prompts a “whew”. Really?
Footnote to the laundry – the “whew” is expelled as he is coming down the stairs. Note – he went up an HOUR before to put away 4 towels. Stayed up there to watch ESPN for 55 minutes BEFORE coming down and doing the “Whew” like that was so much work. Come on – you know putting away those towels took less than 5 minutes!
My husband does other things, but at that moment – these were my top three. After writing this all down and being able to see my words – I have come to a conclusion. A way to fix all of this.
Realization
Writing things down, really does clear the mind and help put facts together. I have been with my husband since we were in our late teens so we have grown up together. I’ve turned a blind eye to certain things that irritated me and have learned to live with it. After writing these things down, I realized maybe I am doing something wrong. I will outline my findings below:
Its All In the Tone: I should tell him he’s wrong and that I don’t agree with him right from the jump. That would eliminate his need to talk slowly and try to explain things at a child’s pace.
We’re Even: He’s been doing this for years. I don’t know if maybe a spray bottle to the face might help? Anyone?
Sighing or Whew: Next time, I give him some laundry to put away – instead of 5 minutes worth. I should give him baskets and baskets worth so it would actually take an hour to put away. That way, when he does eventually come down, the “Whew” is warranted! Or I would get like 12 hours of peace and quiet, free of any irritating feedback, since it takes him approximately one hour to every 5 minutes of work to recover.
